He took his and mine (Poem #113)

They told me what you did,

at first I thought it was some sick joke,

as if life was something that couldn’t be taken away in 3.5 seconds,

but as I sat there,

it sunk in,

they weren’t kidding,

you had done it,

you had given up.

My mind rushed,

words meshed together to create a choased mash up of songs fights and tears,

my silence turned to sobs and screams,

never again would the words petrude my lips,

your life was so precious,

but so was my innocence,

yet both of those were taken away by you,

and still somehow I cannot look in the mirror

without seeing the face of a monster I created

because even though I couldn’t forgive you for me

I swear I would have done it for you

if only I had known….

Why do I feel bad,

you did this to yourself

you felt bad because you did that to me

why do I feel bad…..

it should be you feeling bad still….

you took the easy way out,

you stopped feeling,

you are gone,

why am I still angry…

why did this….

why did you….

why….

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Without second guessing it…(Poem #64)

Can someone tell me how this happens?

How someone can put their hands on a little girl,

how they can take the most precious thing given to us in this world,

and rip it apart,

how they take the innocence of body and heart,

and at some point age doesn’t matter,

as long as they can they will use their power…

It just baffles me,

hurts me,

and makes me sick,

how people can rape a child without even second guessing it…