Surviving tonight(poem #164)

Public service announcement for those of you who were sound asleep,

Wrapped comfortable in your lovers arms or holding firmly to your antidotes to depression,

Last night at 4am the Purge of sanity began,

The ideations poured in like childhood nightmares,

But unlike the ones on Elm’s street,

I can not run away from these,

The distance from my bed to the door became a labyrinth,

My brain became the fun house at carnivals that remind you that the only thing worse than spiders is staring at your own reflection,

Each corner lines with mirrors to expose painted on smiles so frightening the Joker would have been proud.

Now confined to the gallows of my own consciousness I beg my brain to just please except that I am being hung by my own hands,

To just drift off into unconsciousness so I can finally sleep,

Sleep avaids my ever pleating heart,

The boxing match turned into a cage fight,

In one corner my heart,

The other every lover I have ever had,

Each punch laced with broken promises, lies, and heartbreak,

There is no referee on my self-loathing,

By the end of tonight I will be lucky if I come out alive…

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Four in one; cry for help….(Poem #102)

One tear fell,                                                                                          Quickly

by the rushing revine,                                                                     as it all rushes by

as the tall blond girl,                                                        never knowing what will happen next

let a scream petrude from her lips,                                        praying the answer will come

the last mercy call,                                                                    to anyone willing to listen,

and cry for help.                                                                       hopefully not onto deaf ears.

His hands shock,                                                                         Rapidly

as they twisted,                                                             grabbing at bits and piece

and knoted the rope,                                                       trying to keep it together

if it was too lose,                                                              everything would fall apart

he would suffer,                                                                         worse than before

too tight….                                                                             and it would be too late.

he is already dead….