The things I still don’t know…(Poem #55)

Over the course of my short life I have learned quiet a bit,

and when reflecting on it the power of knowledge overwhelms me,

because to be honest with you I know I will never know enough to deal with everything I do,

I will always fall short,

and I will always make mistakes,

some big,

some small,

but mistakes none the less.

And at first this frightened me,

because it meant getting more bumps and bruises,

and falling down for the 112th time this year,

and getting back up for the 113th…

But it isn’t so scary anymore,

because I have found that the most beautiful part of life is not knowing…

It’s not knowing your best friend and you will not be friends in fours years,

it’s not knowing that the ex-boyfriend you thought you were in love with really was a piece of shit until it ended,

it’s not knowing that you are going to fall apart in a weak because you have no clue who you are,

it’s not knowing that you might not have kids in five years….or ever,

it’s not knowing the small details,

or the big moments in our life,

Because if we knew them,

what would be the point of living?

It would be like starting a book, 

and knowing how it ends before you even flip the first page….

So am I comfortable with not knowing what tomorrow brings?

HELL NO!

But am I ready?

YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM!

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Though I have said it a million times…(poem #54)

You may take how I act to be too much sometimes,

and it may seem like an extreme,

but I do it out of love and affection for you.

You see I may say “I love you” a million times,

because I did not hear it enough as a child,

and I do not know when my last moment will be,

my world could disappear in a second,

so I want to say it as often as I possibly can,

because who knows when the last time I will utter those beautiful words for the last time…

I just don’t want you to go through life thinking you are anything less than the best,

because you have been everything I have needed and more,

and even though we fight,

my words still ring the same,

I love you to the end of the galaxy,

I love you a little more everyday….