This High (Poem #115)

The shutter vision,

sudden burst of blood under my radiating skin,

coursing pulse,

breaths coming with the tension of fire through my throat,

then exhaling with the gust of serenity…

nothing could ever create an overcast on this high.

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This song- Of Mice & Men My Understanding(Poem #42)

This song,

this song holds a lot of memories….

Both good and bad.

and I remember the first time I heard it,

and I will probably remember the last as well…

You see this song is more than the short two verses it holds,

this song has pierced my heart,

and tattooed itself on my soul,

it has become a part of me.

Because this song has spoken all the words I wish I could have said to all those whom I care about,

“I don’t mind it, I don’t mind it if your overrated

or staring at the edge of the world”

I wish they would have seen that this song is me,

The ideas,

dreams,

and words of this song are what I want.

I don’t care if it is emo,

or seems too dark,

it really isn’t,

it is beautiful,

and tells a story my words can not do justice to…

So because of this,

I will end this poem with the words that have become my battle cry,

my anthem….

“BUT I CAN SEE IT IS YOUR LOVE THAT I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF

AND IF WE CLIMB THIS HIGH, I SWEAR WE’LL NEVER DIE”

An ode to Jimmy Hendrix (poem #41)

I applaud you Mr. Hendrix,

for what you did truly was revolutionary,

you see you became an image of a melted society,

you showed the world a culture that it had never known,

you showed the world what it could be,

a world unlike our own.

But they refuted you Mr. Hendrix,

that spat in your face and called you names,

because the society that you represented did not have a name,

so the whites thought you were a genius,

and where showing them what black culture was like,

yet the blacks called you a “white nigger”

and didn’t want you in their sight.

This was because Mr. Hendrix,

you were something completely new,

you showed the world what hybridization was,

through just being you.

You see you became the melting pot Mr. Hendrix,

you were the man who showed what the world should be,

a culture filled with everyone’s culture,

in just one human being.

So Mr. Hendrix,

what did society do,

they scrutinized you Mr. Hendrix,

because they didn’t know what to do.

They didn’t know what to do with a man,

who represented so much more,

that didn’t fit into their god damn boxes,

who wouldn’t confide to their reform,

becuase the stereotypes weren’t working,

and their minds couldn not understand,

a man does not have to be a single culture,

rather he is a mixture of the cultures he understands,

and they wanted so deeply to label you,

but nothing seemed to stick,

because Mr. Hendrix you were the body of reform,

the man without a culture,

that had yet been known to man,

you were the melting pot Mr. Hendrix,

and for that I applaud you,

thank you my good man.

A new way of drowning (Poem #33)

I need to be honest right now,

This feeling that I am having,

I can’t even describe it…

And that is kind of scary to me,

because I am a writer,

I am the person who takes the indescribable

and finds the perfect words to say…

But somehow you have found a way to take away my voice,

to have everything blur together,

and have words not be able to come close to explaining how I feel.

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But I am still stubborn,

so that means I am going to try…

So here it goes.

I feel like I am floating,

yet I am being pulled under by the current,

and it is pulling me toward the deeper end,

and slowly taking the shores away that I have become so comfortable with,

I am drifting farther and farther away from the world I knew,

the world that defined me til now,

I am slowly drowning,

but no matter how much I hate not breathing,

it is a drowning that I almost love,

Because even though the thing I held onto to keep me “alive”

was actually slowly poisoning me,

but I was too scared to look elsewhere,

So as the water fills my lungs,

instead of gasping for air,

I am learning how to breath again.

You have opened up my eyes to my new life,

and even though the shore was my home now,

you made me into a mermaid,

and I love how the water feels between my fingers,

I love the feeling of being surrounded by feelings,

and by memories that depending on the lighting show something different.

I love the way that you lead me into a word that is deeper,

and more meaningful than I have ever seen,

because I lived on the surface and thought that the deeper I went the darker life would get,

but it has been the opposite,

the deeper I go,

the lighter I feel.

You see,

you took a world I new,

and showed me that there is more,

that there truly is more than 90% of my life that has been undiscovered,

but discovering it won’t be so scary,

because you will always be there for me,

discovering it with me,

and learning about the world,

one ray of light at a time,

one “we’ll see at a time”.

The things I have to thank you for…(poem #30)

I haven’t talked to you in over a month now,

       at first your anger hurt,

           but now I don’t mine it,

Because well, now you don’t really mean that much to me,

you are just a part of my past,

but still I feel like I need to thank you for a few things.

The things I have to thank you for…

1. My backbone, 

because we all know that the shit you put me through forced me to get one.

2. The songs I never heard,

The songs that used to not make sense,

You see they all make sense now,

and they have nothing to do with you…..

(and if they do I hope that they are the songs SCREAM MY NAME when you hears)

3. Fresh eyes to look at the world,

All the tears I cried over you really did cause my eyes to open,

and see that I deserve WAY more than you.

4. The fight in my soul,

You see how you ended it with me reminded me that I can fight back,

and that no one can control me,

like you did…..

5. My desire to only look forward,

Because let’s be honest all that looking back shows me 

is pain

mistakes

fights

screaming

and memories I can live without….

6. My heartache and heartbreak,

because when I fell apart,

guess who was the only one left to put me back together?

Yeah, that’s right, 

I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE!

So guess who decided what I would become?

ME!!!

7. Showing me that what I thought I wanted wasn’t really what I needed….

Do I really need to explain this one?

8. That you showed me that tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life!

9. Lastly, that because of you,

I enjoy every day with him so so much more,

and enjoy the love he shows me,

Because HE DESERVES ME,

UNLIKE YOU!

The Origin of Music(poem #24)

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Every great song starts with a melody,

a few notes to make a tune,

a gracious hand strumming along,

to the beat of the heart,

and the whispers of the soul,

that feed the memories,

that were translated to the notes.

You see music is a language,

a deeply routed word,

that no matter the tongue in which it is spoken,

still somehow translates what it means,

because music is more than words,

and more than simply note,

Music is the gateway,

to our hearts,

to our memories,

to our souls.

Kiss me slowly (Poem #22)

I want you to know something,

I want you to know that you are special,

and different,

and beautiful,

and unique,

and perfect,

because you are you,

and I would never ask for me.

Because being different,

and unique,

and human,

is what makes you perfect to me.

It’s the fact that you can fall down,

that you make mistakes,

that sometime you chew too loud,

that you feel so much,

and worry so much,

that you sometimes are crabby when you don’t sleep enough,

and that you get annoyed with me,

that you hate being tickled,

or that you were embarrassed about your birthmark,

that you has some skeleton in your closest,

that you have no idea what you want to do with your life,

but you know you want to be happy,

and that you have no idea where you are going,

but you know you don’t want to stay here forever,

and that you want to be independent,

just so you feel like you aren’t being held down..

I love how all of these things,

no matter how small,

make you you,

just like that freckle below your left eye makes me smile,

and how when you smile your right eye is slightly more squinted than your right,

I guess what I am saying is that I think for the first time in a long time I am actually falling in love,

not just lust,

and it is actual love,

not me giving up who I am to somehow make the world better for the other person,

but real love,

where we both can fall apart,

and we both know that the other person will be standing right next to us,

waiting for us to stand up again,

and that the other person won’t try to fix us,

but will just support us,

and hold us tight when we need them to,

will speak kind words,

whisper wisdom,

and never give up on us.

So I am grateful for you,

for this opportunity,

for the chance at forever with you by my side,

because that is the something to look forward to,

and that is why right now I am going to ask you for one thing,

will you come and do one thing for me,

baby will you kiss me slowly?

The jungle (poem #21)

Let out a growl,

let out a cry,

inhale the moist air,

get ready to come,

get ready to see,

the view of the jungle,

the heart of the beast,

hear the birds flap their wings,

and sing the songs of their kind,

watch the frogs do their dance,

and the snakes march in time,

the wind sounds like music,

and the leaves fall to the ground,

let your soul become the power,

the power you hold inside,

join the world of the panther,

come join the pride.

Signed Sincerely with Love(poem #13)

As I sit in my room,

Alone…

waiting for something magical to happen,

or a light-bulb to appear,

I know something is happening,

even if it is deep inside.

It is something beautiful,

yet it is scary,

and I don’t know how to react.

Because how do you tell someone that you are willing to drop everything to make them happy,

or that somehow no matter how far away they are you can still feel them,

and that no matter how you feel there is something that aches once they leave…

How do you tell them that…..

Or even worse how do you tell them that no matter what they did to you,

you forgive them…

but somehow you don’t want them anymore…

and that you need to move on with your life,

and that for some reason they aren’t going to be as big of a part of it…

and that no matter how bad it hurt you,

they did leave,

and you tried waiting for them,

but you can’t wait for a superhero,

because superheros aren’t real,

and they won’t come flying in to save you…

Because songs like these aren’t real,

the world tears you apart,

and takes the things you hold dear and shreds them,

just to show you that you can go on without them…

that somehow you were strong enough all along on your own,

and that you need to stop taking them in like medicine,

because you aren’t sick,

you are healthy and strong,

and you are the only thing holding you back.

So I would have followed you where you go,

but I can’t…

I just couldn’t do that for you….

I thought I could,

but I see now that I wasn’t supposed to,

and I guess why I am saying this, 

all these months later,

is because I have been to scared to say it before…

that maybe I am better off without you,

and that we weren’t meant to be like we thought…

But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you…

It just means that I need to care about me too,

and that sometimes the things that tastes the sweetest at the time are the things that are rotting us away…

So when you got on that plane,

and you flew away into your life…

just know I didn’t hold any resentment,

and that I did cry many tears,

because I knew in that moment that our life had said goodbye,

And that the next day when I awoke I cried even more,

because walking away from a three year relationship wasn’t something easy to do,

and neither was seeing the pictures of you in your dress blues….

So I respect you my dear,

and rightfully so,

but it’s time for me to say goodbye,

and both of us to let go…

Because my life is getting better now,

and I still wish you were here,

but as a friend not a lover,

but that is something I fear,

I fear you can’t handle that,

and that you will lose sight of what we are now….

because we never will be together again….

and we are over now.

So I salute you my soldier,

I applaud you honorable marine,

but please move on now,

go find what you need..

Because I found what I need,

And I am moving on with my life,

and I am learning what happiness is,

I’m learning what it means to live life…..

and that is what I want for you,

I want you to see,

the beauty in the flowers

and the smiles in the breeze…

Because you deserve happiness,

and you deserve love,

but that isn’t something I can give you,

I’m sorry.

Signed sincerely….with love.

Poetry and Music (poem #12)

Let it go..

Let it go…

Can’t hold it back anymore…

Let it go…

Let it go…

That perfect girl is gone!

Now that I have that out of the way,

A poem is a song,

A song is a poem,

Words on paper,

Or words in the air,

Poetry becomes music,

and it floats through our hair.

You see there is nothing that words can not express,

When written upon a rhythm

And added to a tune,

Becuase music transforms words,

from somthing so simply,

so black and white,

to something of color,

that can brighten the darkest of night.

We cherish them,

hold them,

and always remember them,

as we walk alone,

or are wondering in a crowd…

Because poetry and music,

say everything we wish we could,

but feel that we would be judged,

because our sentences aren’t complete,

and the words can be cut short,

or completely omitted,

because it’s about expression,

not about making sense,

so it may sound like a ramble…

but to us poetry and music is what our heart screams!