Untitled (Poem #163)

How have I not driven you mad?

I still think of him and feel so much…

So much anger,

So much sadness,

And so much love

I feel like a top spinning off of a desk falling for something I will never believe in.

The love we deserve (poem #145)

Love…

Four simple letters,

One rhythmic word.

I yearn for it’s overwhelming weakness.

Desire so much to have it.

But I am tired,

Tired of the people who say they will never hurt me being the ones who only want to be my friends,

And the ones who are willing to hurt me be the ones who invite my heart to fall in love with them.

I know now that I deserve better,

But I guess this is life’s way of showing me the love I deserve.

Believe (Poem #86)

My brain keeps telling me that I am not worth it for you to deal with,
My brain keeps telling me that I will never be pretty enough to make you be proud to be with me,
My brain keeps telling me that my body type isn’t perfect enough to be sexy in your eyes,
My brain keeps telling me that my breast and butt are still too small to make other jealous that you have me,
My brain keeps telling me that I will never be smart enough to be successful enough to support us,
My brain keeps telling me that tomorrow isn’t worth it, because you will probably leave,
My brain keeps telling me that I am not enough and that I will never be,
My brain keeps telling me all these lies…
So my brain keeps telling me all these things,
Yet you remind me that all these things are lies,
And today….today I decided to believe you!

What happened first didn’t matter…(Poem #78)

I don’t know what I fell in love with first,

Your smile or your laugh,

Your gentleness or your strength,

Your  tenderness or your stamina,

Your adventurous nature or your kindred soul…

I may not remember what I fell in love with first,

but I sure do know it was worth it!

The moment you took my breath away (Poem #77)

Not going to lie,

you took my breath away

and brought tears to my eyes.

I have never felt so connect to someone in my life as I do to you,

and have never been able to put into words the feeling that I get when I am with you

and when I do the words never do the feeling justice.

I love you so much,

and I know you will never be able to see that

but I am going to try my hardest to show you what love really means

and how beautiful it can make this world filled with chaos become. 

I love you isn’t enough (Poem #76)

The words “I love you” don’t seem to be enough anymore.

They can’t express the joy I feel when I am with you,

or the moments my heart seems to disappear from my chest,

or how your smile radiates through my whole body and warms my soul,

or how you holding me not only puts all the broken pieces back together but also reminds me what it feels like to be safe,

or how the simple touch of your hand can carry the weight of the world for five seconds so I can breath,

or how when I speak to you it is like speaking to your soul,

and how when I look in your eyes I literally get lost in the moment,

how hours turn into seconds,

and how absolutely nothing makes sense in my life except for you…

I love you isn’t enough for me…

It doesn’t say how I truly feel about you.

You are the epitome of perfect in my eyes,

You fill my life with a happiness I didn’t know existed,

and a peace that has never covered my life when I am sad,

Your words don’t just imprint on my mind, 

they transform my soul.

It doesnt have to make sense it doesnt have to make sense

You ARE the definition of love in my eyes,

so saying I love you is merely acknowledging your presence in my life,

and how you have become a part of my life,

my heart,

my soul,

and my madness…

You are love,

and I will never be able to express to you how special that makes me feel…

I would give up the world for you…(Poem #75)

I never really understood the phrase, “I would give up the world for you”

Like seriously it makes no fucking sense when you think about it…

I would give up not only my entire existence but EVERYONE’S existence,

just for you…

Seems kind of crazy,

selfish,

and overall cruel…

Doesn’t it?

And again why does picking flowers show a sign of affection?

“Here I saw these were pretty and I thought of you so I pulled them from the ground and killed them…”

Showing signs of love seems kind of morbid after this doesn’t it….

WRONG!!!

When you truly fall in love nothing makes sense anymore,

it is like the entire universe stopped moving for one second so the galaxy could realign just for you two,

so you could finally feel what it is like to have the world stop turning for one second.

So nothing makes sense after the epitome of all existence seems to come to a sudden halt when your hearts finally understood the moment that you finally met…”The one”

So would I give up the world for love,

You are for damn sure,

I would do it in a heartbeat.

The whisper that Outweighs the Screams (Poem #71)

Mentally I understand it,

My brain can tell me a thousand times,

but my heart won’t listen,

it muffles out the screams,

and replaces them with whispers that echo through my soul.

I don’t know if that is a good thing,

or if all it will do is drive me insane…

Because my mind is screaming “HE DOESN’T WANT YOU!”

But my heart still clings to “Maybe someday he will……”