The moment you took my breath away (Poem #77)

Not going to lie,

you took my breath away

and brought tears to my eyes.

I have never felt so connect to someone in my life as I do to you,

and have never been able to put into words the feeling that I get when I am with you

and when I do the words never do the feeling justice.

I love you so much,

and I know you will never be able to see that

but I am going to try my hardest to show you what love really means

and how beautiful it can make this world filled with chaos become. 

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I love you isn’t enough (Poem #76)

The words “I love you” don’t seem to be enough anymore.

They can’t express the joy I feel when I am with you,

or the moments my heart seems to disappear from my chest,

or how your smile radiates through my whole body and warms my soul,

or how you holding me not only puts all the broken pieces back together but also reminds me what it feels like to be safe,

or how the simple touch of your hand can carry the weight of the world for five seconds so I can breath,

or how when I speak to you it is like speaking to your soul,

and how when I look in your eyes I literally get lost in the moment,

how hours turn into seconds,

and how absolutely nothing makes sense in my life except for you…

I love you isn’t enough for me…

It doesn’t say how I truly feel about you.

You are the epitome of perfect in my eyes,

You fill my life with a happiness I didn’t know existed,

and a peace that has never covered my life when I am sad,

Your words don’t just imprint on my mind, 

they transform my soul.

It doesnt have to make sense it doesnt have to make sense

You ARE the definition of love in my eyes,

so saying I love you is merely acknowledging your presence in my life,

and how you have become a part of my life,

my heart,

my soul,

and my madness…

You are love,

and I will never be able to express to you how special that makes me feel…

I would give up the world for you…(Poem #75)

I never really understood the phrase, “I would give up the world for you”

Like seriously it makes no fucking sense when you think about it…

I would give up not only my entire existence but EVERYONE’S existence,

just for you…

Seems kind of crazy,

selfish,

and overall cruel…

Doesn’t it?

And again why does picking flowers show a sign of affection?

“Here I saw these were pretty and I thought of you so I pulled them from the ground and killed them…”

Showing signs of love seems kind of morbid after this doesn’t it….

WRONG!!!

When you truly fall in love nothing makes sense anymore,

it is like the entire universe stopped moving for one second so the galaxy could realign just for you two,

so you could finally feel what it is like to have the world stop turning for one second.

So nothing makes sense after the epitome of all existence seems to come to a sudden halt when your hearts finally understood the moment that you finally met…”The one”

So would I give up the world for love,

You are for damn sure,

I would do it in a heartbeat.

Can always be better (Poem #74)

It’s a pretty simple message right?

It is OKAY to not be perfect….

I wish it was that easy.

The idea of being perfect isn’t the problem,

it’s the idea that may we can get close,

and that somehow we can always move one step closer to being perfect if we just do _________.

But it doesn’t work!

We never reach this invisible goal that we set that if we become ______then I will stop….

because there is always something better,

you can always be prettier,

bigger chested,

thinner waisted,

smarter

stronger,

faster,

BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!

The world doesn’t need better,

the world needs you,

it needs your quirkiness,

and the way your mouth turns when you smile,

or the odd noise you make when you are gasping for air in between laughs….

The world needs you exactly how you are….

I need you exactly how you are….

YOU need YOU exactly how you are…

The whisper that Outweighs the Screams (Poem #71)

Mentally I understand it,

My brain can tell me a thousand times,

but my heart won’t listen,

it muffles out the screams,

and replaces them with whispers that echo through my soul.

I don’t know if that is a good thing,

or if all it will do is drive me insane…

Because my mind is screaming “HE DOESN’T WANT YOU!”

But my heart still clings to “Maybe someday he will……”

Our adventure…(Poem #59)

The cold wind hit my face,

And the rays of sun sparkle against the snow,

My boots crunch against the ice crystals,

As I walk forward the trees shake in the breeze,

And all of a sudden I hear a jingling coming through the trees,

Then there he is,

Running full speed ahead,

his collar jingling as he picks up speed,

his paws pushing against the snow,

and a trail of powder behind him,

then the impact occurs,

I look up in the sky,

and feel a wet nose against my cheek,

and hear a soft panting,

as I sit up I laugh,

and pet his back,

I smile and say,

“I’ll right boy you win, let’s keep walking”

And my puppy and I continue on our adventure.

A change of lights and memories (Poem #58)

The lights change,

fading from blues to reds,

and dance across the ceiling,

with each change of color my mind drifts in and out of a dream,

It drifts from memories of my dog,

a hug from my father,

to all the memories I made with you.

All these memories make me smile,

and bring a calming sense of peace,

because these memories and lights give me a break from the pains of my life,

and bring feeling of joy back to my life.

Not looking anymore…(Poem #57)

I’ve gotten asked many times recently,

If I would like to go to dinner,

or get coffee,

and each time I answer the same way,

I can not,

and will not at this time.

Because right now I am in the happiest state of my life,

even with everything being so hectic,

I am perfectly happy with the boy who has my heart,

and I have nothing more I am looking for,

because he is perfect to me,

and I love him more and more every day.

I don’t get it….(Poem #48)

This is a new feeling for me,

the feeling of warm open arms,

of a hug I need that somehow keeps me from falling apart.

I don’t get it….

how your presence does just enough to keep me sane,

or how when you smile it reminds me what it feel like to be alive…

I don’t get it….

I don’t get how you laying next to me,

not saying a word,

can heal me more than a thousand words can…

or how the stuffed animal you gave me,

makes the tears hurt a little less….

I don’t get it…

How somehow you give me the strength to look forward,

and stand on my own,

through the simplest things as a look.

I don’t get it…..

I don’t get how I feel the depression hitting me,

but when I am with you I am not depressed….