2 am (Poem #5)

It’s 2 am,

And I am lying here,

Listening to love songs,

That words scream like rain,

And they tear down the walls,

They rip apart my castle,

Somehow the smoke I have tried so hard to create,

falls…

I can’t help it,

Each smile becomes a cannon ball that smashes every fear,

All my insecurities,

When it comes to love,

joy,

and tomorrow.

So at 2 am,

While I lay here alone,

Surrounded by butterfly notes,

kissing my cheeks,

And tear of joy,

twinkle down my cheeks,

I can’t help but know that something…

something real and beautiful is happening…

and honey if this is what falling for someone feels like,

I wish I had known before,

because the walls I had up,

They should have fallen like Babel,

Because the free fall is worth it,

And the fear of not knowing what tomorrow brings,

is no longer scary….

but rather exciting…

and beautiful….

Just like you….

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Tomorrow….. (#2)

I’m scared…

Scared out of my mind…

I’m scared of tomorrow…

Scared for the rest of my life…

Because the future is unplanned,

And there is nothing that is for sure…

But somehow….

Somehow it isn’t so scary,

Something not to abhor,

For the mystery of tomorrow

makes it that much more clear,

That mystery is beautiful…

Mystery is nothing to fear…

Because with every mystery there are is ambiguity,

A chance for something great…

And if my future includes you…

Well maybe tomorrow won’t be so hard to take…

So thank you my darling,

For standing here with me…

Thank you all for holding on,

And seeing something beautiful in me.

For even when I don’t see it,

I know that you all do,

And maybe tomorrow I will see it,

or maybe never…

no one can tell.

So what does tomorrow bring,

It brings me a chance,

A chance to find who I really am,

A chance to learn to dance,

It means falling down,

And learning to get up,

It means not knowing what is going to happen

Yet finding peace in that,

It’s about giving everything a chance,

It means learning,

letting go,

holding on,

and staying true,

It means learning who you really are,

And finding out who is true….

So tomorrow come when you are ready,

Come when you have a chance,

I am ready for you,

I’m standing tall,

Give me everything you’ve got,

And I will show you who still has a chance!

Tomorrow you will not hurt me,

You will not scare me away,

I will not sink,

I will not falter,

I will never break…

Though you have shown me,

What heartbreak truly is…

I know that through it all something beautiful is coming,

And I will love again.

So tomorrow if you’re ready,

I’m giving you a chance,

Try and break me,

Try your best,

Because even though I am scared..

I know I am not alone,

And I am not letting go….