I hate love (poem #36)

I hate love,

I do,

because it sucks,

you have to open up to someone,

and you give them parts of you that can crush you,

but you do it because you want to,

you want to give them all of you,

and to grow with them,

you want them to be able to walk through all the walls you put up,

because for some crazy reason the pain they could cause is worth each smile,

each kiss

each memory…
quotes photo: quotes 066.jpg

So yea I hate love,

but I love love so much because I hate it so much.

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Wish me luck (poem #29)

breaking down walls photo: Break Walls Down broken20hearted20wall.jpg

I had to sit down today,

and look long and hard,

at this person I show the world,

and all the pain behind it.

You see I know I have built up walls,

and I have hidden behind them for so long,

that it is scary when I look through them,

it is almost like I am looking back into the eyes of the 13 year old me,

and that little girls was scared,

hurt,

and alone.

I don’t want to be here again,

and I never want to see it again,

I don’t want to see the world through frightened eyes,

I want to be strong,

and stand tall..

Like I am now.

You see the walls helped me stay strong,

and then I made myself strong,

Now as the walls come crashing down, 

I don’t know what hides behind them,

could it be monsters?

or could it be angels?

I don’t know…

but I guess it is time to find out…

Wish me luck!

The wave (Poem #16)

There is a lot going on,

and that is an understatement…

but the reason it is all crashing down on you at once,

is so that it can erode all the things you don’t need away…

because otherwise you wouldn’t get ride of them,

so life is getting rid of them for you…

so thank the pressure,

thank the stress,

thank the difficulty,

Because tomorrow you will be better because of it.

Something about a that chair (Poem #15)

Sitting in a room,

talking to someone you barely know…

It’s hard…

That’s putting it nicely.

You see the room becomes all that more intersting,

because you are avoiding all the thoughts that crawl on those walls,

and you wonder how many sad stories that wind could whisper if the windows were open,

and how many tear the chairs have caught,

or how many times someone has fallen apart and left everything that was broken lying on that floor….

So to say the least the room is ominous…

but something about them breaks you down,

as if you didn’t say everything you have been holding back,

that somehow you would be letting the room down…

and then it starts,

You just open up!

So this is how it feel…(poem #14)

So this is how it feels,

when disaster strikes,

and everything you knew disappeared…

There is an overwhelming fear ,

and pain for what has been lost.

It would be easier if it was something materialistic,

like a house,

or jewelry,

but no this is worse…

this is much worse….

You see a house can be rebuilt with blueprint,

and Jewelry can be bought again,

but what happens when the walls you built,

and everything you called yourself 

suddenly gets thrown open and apart,

and you look around and all you see is the rubble of what you were,

every brick was a part of you,

and every stone you pick up brings back all the memories,

all the pain,

all the joy,

all the fears,

they bring back EVERYTHING!!

and you can’t hide from them anymore,

you’re skeletons are amoungst the rubble,

and you feel like you are living in a class house,

and all you want to do is cry out,

and fall to your knees and give up,

but as you fall you find the one brick that reminds you why you keep trying…

Suddenly there is a hand helping you stand up now,

and a voice saying “let’s keep that one”,

then you understand,

the tornado didn’t come to destroy you,

just destroy what you thought you were,

because what you thought was holding you back from who you could be,

the walls were too high and blinding you from the sun,

so yes the rubble is scary,

and as you rebuild yourself you will get cuts,

and splinters,

and bruises,

and scares,

and bleed a lot…

but in the end it will all be worth it,

because the sun will be shining on you from now on,

and you will have learned to dance in the rain,

and learn that some part of your house can be glass,

and that the things that held you back before can be thrown away,

and only the pieces you want to keep will be used,

because now you get to decide who you will be!

2 am (Poem #5)

It’s 2 am,

And I am lying here,

Listening to love songs,

That words scream like rain,

And they tear down the walls,

They rip apart my castle,

Somehow the smoke I have tried so hard to create,

falls…

I can’t help it,

Each smile becomes a cannon ball that smashes every fear,

All my insecurities,

When it comes to love,

joy,

and tomorrow.

So at 2 am,

While I lay here alone,

Surrounded by butterfly notes,

kissing my cheeks,

And tear of joy,

twinkle down my cheeks,

I can’t help but know that something…

something real and beautiful is happening…

and honey if this is what falling for someone feels like,

I wish I had known before,

because the walls I had up,

They should have fallen like Babel,

Because the free fall is worth it,

And the fear of not knowing what tomorrow brings,

is no longer scary….

but rather exciting…

and beautiful….

Just like you….