Not so scary ghost story (Poem #56)

I never understood ghost stories…

They just don’t make sense to me…

What is so scary about a wandering soul?

I mean isn’t that what all of us are?

We are all souls stuck here on this planet looking for our meaning and purpose?

So why should we fear a soul we just can’t see?

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Observations of the Ill(Poem # 44)

I was ill for the last few days,

and I locked myself in my room so no one else would fall ill,

and feel as shitty as I did.

But today,

I dragged myself out of bed and went outside,

went on with my life,

even though I still feel weak and tired,

but I was “well enough to go to class”,

which really isn’t that much better of a state,

really it is just a state of “I won’t get anyone else sick now”…

But you know what I noticed,

people are always soooo busy,

They walk to class,

heads down,

or chatting,

going here,

going there…

but never really going anywhere.

You see in my three days of locking myself in my room to be alone,

I found that I lived most when I had my brief moments with people,

when I could just sit down and enjoy someone’s company…

Yet we don’t do that anymore…

We are too worried about being on time,

and appearing at this,

I mean yeah being on time is important,

But people really need to set aside time to just relax

and enjoy the fact that they aren’t alone,

locked in a room,

with minimal contact to the outside world…

They need to enjoy the fact that they are ALIVE AND WELL!

This song- Of Mice & Men My Understanding(Poem #42)

This song,

this song holds a lot of memories….

Both good and bad.

and I remember the first time I heard it,

and I will probably remember the last as well…

You see this song is more than the short two verses it holds,

this song has pierced my heart,

and tattooed itself on my soul,

it has become a part of me.

Because this song has spoken all the words I wish I could have said to all those whom I care about,

“I don’t mind it, I don’t mind it if your overrated

or staring at the edge of the world”

I wish they would have seen that this song is me,

The ideas,

dreams,

and words of this song are what I want.

I don’t care if it is emo,

or seems too dark,

it really isn’t,

it is beautiful,

and tells a story my words can not do justice to…

So because of this,

I will end this poem with the words that have become my battle cry,

my anthem….

“BUT I CAN SEE IT IS YOUR LOVE THAT I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF

AND IF WE CLIMB THIS HIGH, I SWEAR WE’LL NEVER DIE”

An ode to Jimmy Hendrix (poem #41)

I applaud you Mr. Hendrix,

for what you did truly was revolutionary,

you see you became an image of a melted society,

you showed the world a culture that it had never known,

you showed the world what it could be,

a world unlike our own.

But they refuted you Mr. Hendrix,

that spat in your face and called you names,

because the society that you represented did not have a name,

so the whites thought you were a genius,

and where showing them what black culture was like,

yet the blacks called you a “white nigger”

and didn’t want you in their sight.

This was because Mr. Hendrix,

you were something completely new,

you showed the world what hybridization was,

through just being you.

You see you became the melting pot Mr. Hendrix,

you were the man who showed what the world should be,

a culture filled with everyone’s culture,

in just one human being.

So Mr. Hendrix,

what did society do,

they scrutinized you Mr. Hendrix,

because they didn’t know what to do.

They didn’t know what to do with a man,

who represented so much more,

that didn’t fit into their god damn boxes,

who wouldn’t confide to their reform,

becuase the stereotypes weren’t working,

and their minds couldn not understand,

a man does not have to be a single culture,

rather he is a mixture of the cultures he understands,

and they wanted so deeply to label you,

but nothing seemed to stick,

because Mr. Hendrix you were the body of reform,

the man without a culture,

that had yet been known to man,

you were the melting pot Mr. Hendrix,

and for that I applaud you,

thank you my good man.

I don’t know if this should even count as a poem or more of a rant…(poem #40)

I wanted to challenge myself to something new,

So for the next few minutes I am going to close my eyes and type all of the thoughts that go through my head…

Ready?

Go!

1. I love the sound of rain, and the mixture of bird calls, thunder and raindrops that the rainy moods website is using tonight.

2. I hate being sick, and having a fever really put a damper on my day. I felt so weak and useless. Honestly being an adult and being sick sucks because when we are little we have our parents around to help take care of us and make sure that even though we physically feel like crap we don’t have to mentally as well…

3. I miss my dog terribly…he is my best friend and somehow he always knew how to make me feel better no matter how hard the situation got.

4. Sleep and I have a love hate relationship…I am a college kid so this shouldn’t surprise me.

5. I am really confusing myself now…here is why. I looked on a job posting sight through my school and was genuinely upset that all of the after-school positions to help out with elementary and high school programs were “work study” only…why is this confusing, well I thought I hated children, but alas I see I do not.

6. I am not sure if this should even count as a poem really, because it is more of a rant.

7. I miss the show Boy Meets World…and other kids shows I mean seriously kids shows kind of went down the toilet recently.

8. I want to inspire people, not just have them like me. Because people liking you well is rather insignificant when the world is filled with people we “like”, but not many that we want to “be like”. A child needs a role model and someone who seems like a superhero to them not like barbie. I want to change the world in the eyes of a child to inspire them to truly become anything they want not just what people say. So become a vet, an astronaut, a archaeologist, or whatever your dream was…become your own superhero.

9. I think I found what love is…and it scares me to death.

10. Yup this is defiantly a rant and not a poem, haha but I am the author so I get to pick what I call it right!

Why did I believe the lie I that I am ugly? (Poem #39)

I looked in the mirror today,

and saw a million flaws…

1. My nose is too big

2. My eyebrows are too bushy

3. My bottom lip isn’t proportional to my upper lip

4. My hair is too frizzy and whenever I straighten it it never stays that way

5. There are too many zits on my face

6. My chest isn’t big enough

7. My stomach won’t go away

8…..9….10….

You get the point…

I stared in the mirror and saw all the things I have been told were not pretty enough.

I have fallen to the part of society that has choked me since I was 11 years old,

I took at the things that were thrown at me and,

though they did not break my bones,

they left bruises.

I did suffer depression,

I did suffer from an eating disorder,

I did put myself through and unhealthy amount of physical work,

I put myself through everything I could think of in order to make myself feel pretty…

Why am I doing this?

Why do I believe this?

When I was a little girls,

I thought I was beautiful,

with my blue eyes

and crazy blond hair,

but one day those eyes weren’t enough,

and the crazy hair needed to be tamed.

But FUCK THAT!!!!

FUCK THE WORLD FOR TELLING ME I NEED TO BE PERFECT,

AND FAKE TO BE BEAUTIFUL!

I honestly felt like throwing my mirror across the room and watching it smash to a million pieces,

I would have loved to break my hand breaking that mirror if it reminded me that I am a beautiful person,

because I did believe that before,

I believed I was a beautiful princess who deserved a man who would see me as a beautiful queen.

But instead of destroying that mirror I did something else,

I looked back in the mirror,

and looked harder at myself,

and this is what I saw,

1. My eyes are a mix of blue, gold, grey, and are extremely unique

2. My nose is perfectly sized for my nose ring to sit in a place that brings summitry to my face

3. My eyebrows make my eyes pop when I manage them

4. My lips are the perfect shape to show more emotion than I could imagine

5. My waist size is healthy

6. My boobs are proportionate and if I wanted them to get any bigger I would have to gain more weight

7. My body is more than the sexualized image of what a women should be

8. I am beautiful

9. I am pretty

10. I am unique

Are you sure? (Poem #38)

I was told to not keep writing the same thing,

Because the same thing is comfortable,

It is safe…

I was told to be vulnerable,

and open up.

But I don’t want to!

I don’t want to!

I want to be comfortable,

and only show you a few parts of me,

because well that is all I know of me…

I don’t know what I will say,

and what demons will come out.

So you want me to be vulnerable?

Are you sure you can handle it?

Who am I to you? (poem #37)

Who am I to you?

I often wonder this,

I have shown you all my scares,

well not all of them,

but enough of them,

enough for you to judge me…

So who am I?

How do you see me?

I truly hope it is with a good light,

because my life is dark enough sometimes,

I try to show you everything,

the good and the bad,

because I want you to see me for who I am,

the weird…

hurt,

scared,

strong,

lonely,

quirky,

geeky,

misfit,

athletic,

princess,

person who challenges authority,

isn’t quiet sure who I am,

yet is still confident in what I can be,

I want you to see me as who I am,

and not as something I pretend to be…

So who I am to you?

What do you see?

Please tell me,

I want to know,

I want to know…

at least I think I do…

A colorful world (poem #31)

I wish we could all see the world,

Like everyone should,

A view without judgement,

A world that is not colorblind,

But embraces the color,

And actually see the differences as beauty,

rather than faults.

A world that sees everyone as individuals,

not as numbers,

or as just another face in the crowd,

but a face that represents a story,

and memories,

and scares,

but that all of that doesn’t define the person,

rather just improves them and brought them to where they are today.

Because the world isn’t colorless,

it is filled with color,

and pain,

and joy,

and memories,

the world is filled with people,

individuals,

beating hearts,

that are all here for a very beautifully unique reason,

and I would never ever want the world to be seen in a different way!

Stop turning (Poem #27)

I would just like to take a moment,

To breath,

And step back,

Because things get kind of overwhelming,

And everything needs to just slow down,

I need a rose to smell,

A hand to hold,

A moment to just walk down a street and smile,

So please world,

stop turning,

and let me enjoy this one last dance…