You aren’t alone (Poem #135)

If you are awake right now,

At 4 am,

Sobbing into your pillow,

Clenching on to the last shred of hope you have…

Just know you are not alone,

I am right here,

Sobbing with you,

We will make it through this…

I hope….

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What do you call it (Poem #133)

We seem to get wrapped up in this concept of titles,

Everything has to have a label…

But why?

Why do we have to complicate this?

Why does it matter what I call you?

You could call it anything…

I don’t care,

I just want you!

Intimacy (poem #126)

   

I have so many secrets,

The biggest,

How I feel.

This photo is just one crystal on my chandelier now shattered on the ground,

You have seen more of me than you ever will,

Because this captured the moment everything fell apart,

Truly there is nothing more intimate… 

He took his and mine (Poem #113)

They told me what you did,

at first I thought it was some sick joke,

as if life was something that couldn’t be taken away in 3.5 seconds,

but as I sat there,

it sunk in,

they weren’t kidding,

you had done it,

you had given up.

My mind rushed,

words meshed together to create a choased mash up of songs fights and tears,

my silence turned to sobs and screams,

never again would the words petrude my lips,

your life was so precious,

but so was my innocence,

yet both of those were taken away by you,

and still somehow I cannot look in the mirror

without seeing the face of a monster I created

because even though I couldn’t forgive you for me

I swear I would have done it for you

if only I had known….

Why do I feel bad,

you did this to yourself

you felt bad because you did that to me

why do I feel bad…..

it should be you feeling bad still….

you took the easy way out,

you stopped feeling,

you are gone,

why am I still angry…

why did this….

why did you….

why….

If this poem could fix this home, I would read it everyday…(Poem #84)


My family is falling apart,

and I have to just stand back in watch,

as the lawyers scream to be heard,

and the silent agony spreads,

as I watch the world crumble under my feet,

and all you two care about is who gets what….

BUT WHO GETS ME?!?!

WHAT AM I WORTH?!?

Don’t make your divorce split me in two,

I’m not the house,

you can buy a new one of those,

I’m not a car,

you can’t buy insurance that will fix me,

I’m your child,

the one you grew up holding onto your support,

and now the ground I loved is splitting at it’s fault line,

and your daughter cries out for your lawyers to put down the pen,

and for you two to see that I can’t be in the middle of your fighting anymore,

I’m your child,

it’s time you two start acting like my parent,

and parent yourself….

The tears we must cry…(Poem #82)

I know it is late,

and that nothing makes sense,

and that tears streaming down my face are just streams of confusion,

but I can’t help it,

I can’t hold it in,

the tears must fall,

and I must cry,

but for tonight will you hold me tight,

so that my tears will be the only thing falling apart.

I already know(Poem #81)

I don’t understand why you don’t get it

I don’t want to see your face,

I don’t want to hear your voice,

or speak your name!

Let alone sit across from you,

look into your cold eyes,

and listen as you say those lies,

that I wanted this,

That somehow this is all my fault!

I don’t need  you to say it,

I already know,

the lies are screamed in my face,

and they drip down the mirrors,

as my tears stain my face,

I can already see,

You throwing this in my face is unnecessary,

because I already can’t forgive me.