Why I can’t go back…(Poem #79)

I would pick up the blade,

but I can’t,

I can’t bring myself to it again,

It isn’t the blood,

or the pain,

the scares,

or the dirty looks,

or the stares,

or the stigma…

It’s the effect it has on me inside,

I can’t bring myself to hate myself again,

to look at my body in disgust and distaste,

because slowly

but surely,

I am seeing myself as beautiful!

What happened first didn’t matter…(Poem #78)

I don’t know what I fell in love with first,

Your smile or your laugh,

Your gentleness or your strength,

Your  tenderness or your stamina,

Your adventurous nature or your kindred soul…

I may not remember what I fell in love with first,

but I sure do know it was worth it!

The moment you took my breath away (Poem #77)

Not going to lie,

you took my breath away

and brought tears to my eyes.

I have never felt so connect to someone in my life as I do to you,

and have never been able to put into words the feeling that I get when I am with you

and when I do the words never do the feeling justice.

I love you so much,

and I know you will never be able to see that

but I am going to try my hardest to show you what love really means

and how beautiful it can make this world filled with chaos become. 

I love you isn’t enough (Poem #76)

The words “I love you” don’t seem to be enough anymore.

They can’t express the joy I feel when I am with you,

or the moments my heart seems to disappear from my chest,

or how your smile radiates through my whole body and warms my soul,

or how you holding me not only puts all the broken pieces back together but also reminds me what it feels like to be safe,

or how the simple touch of your hand can carry the weight of the world for five seconds so I can breath,

or how when I speak to you it is like speaking to your soul,

and how when I look in your eyes I literally get lost in the moment,

how hours turn into seconds,

and how absolutely nothing makes sense in my life except for you…

I love you isn’t enough for me…

It doesn’t say how I truly feel about you.

You are the epitome of perfect in my eyes,

You fill my life with a happiness I didn’t know existed,

and a peace that has never covered my life when I am sad,

Your words don’t just imprint on my mind, 

they transform my soul.

It doesnt have to make sense it doesnt have to make sense

You ARE the definition of love in my eyes,

so saying I love you is merely acknowledging your presence in my life,

and how you have become a part of my life,

my heart,

my soul,

and my madness…

You are love,

and I will never be able to express to you how special that makes me feel…

I would give up the world for you…(Poem #75)

I never really understood the phrase, “I would give up the world for you”

Like seriously it makes no fucking sense when you think about it…

I would give up not only my entire existence but EVERYONE’S existence,

just for you…

Seems kind of crazy,

selfish,

and overall cruel…

Doesn’t it?

And again why does picking flowers show a sign of affection?

“Here I saw these were pretty and I thought of you so I pulled them from the ground and killed them…”

Showing signs of love seems kind of morbid after this doesn’t it….

WRONG!!!

When you truly fall in love nothing makes sense anymore,

it is like the entire universe stopped moving for one second so the galaxy could realign just for you two,

so you could finally feel what it is like to have the world stop turning for one second.

So nothing makes sense after the epitome of all existence seems to come to a sudden halt when your hearts finally understood the moment that you finally met…”The one”

So would I give up the world for love,

You are for damn sure,

I would do it in a heartbeat.