My love hate relationship with college (Poem #45)

I would like to start this poem by making one thing perfectly clear:

COLLEGE AND I HAVE A VERY CONFLICTING LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP!

The quote above explains what I really want,

and what I believe learning is all about,

here let me explain,

Please sit down with me,

tell me why this is what I am supposed to do,

and please don’t give me that rant about I need it to get a good job,

because WELL DUH I already knew that,

believe me,

otherwise I would have dropped out by now.

No tell me why I am here,

sitting in this office chair,

working on over-night shift at an information desk,

in order to somehow afford food,

and textbooks.

Why am I spending thousands of dollars to have someone sit and talk at me,

yeah some of it is interesting,

but others I take because it will get me a piece of paper that somehow explains that I did something with my life…

Give me a break!

What that piece of paper says is this:

“Ms. Mathews spent three years of her life doing the following:

memorizing x, y, and z,

reciting various theories that have applied to history,

opened her mind to the idea that we will never truly be able to understand or prepare for everything,

spend way too many nights not sleeping because of various reasons

gave a letter on a piece of paper overpower her emotions,

learned too many terms too remember,

and lastly,

SHE KNEW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME.”

Because that is what this is all about,

I mean yeah I love learning,

but I hate someone putting a grade on it,

because somehow the grade tells me that you didn’t learn enough,

or work hard enough.

But I believe that learning happens through life experience,

not always from a textbook that a bunch of people who are no longer living wrote to explain their ideas of what happened.

Maybe it is my nonconformity characteristics coming out now,

but this system sucks!

I love college,

I love the people,

I love the fact that I get to learn from people with experience,

But I hate that it all for a piece of paper that says I did something with my life…

I spent most of my time here sitting in a classroom,

that isn’t doing something with my life,

going out and living is,

and with the course load I have,

I feel like living a full and prosperous life isn’t really my first priority right now,

making up my Chinese tests is

(well sort of…procrastination is awesome).

I guess I am just saying I can’t wait to get out of here and live my life,

how I want to,

and to experience the world,

in only a way I can,

in a way that no text book can ever show me,

and no professor can explain to me,

I want to experience my life as ME!

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