Our adventure…(Poem #59)

The cold wind hit my face,

And the rays of sun sparkle against the snow,

My boots crunch against the ice crystals,

As I walk forward the trees shake in the breeze,

And all of a sudden I hear a jingling coming through the trees,

Then there he is,

Running full speed ahead,

his collar jingling as he picks up speed,

his paws pushing against the snow,

and a trail of powder behind him,

then the impact occurs,

I look up in the sky,

and feel a wet nose against my cheek,

and hear a soft panting,

as I sit up I laugh,

and pet his back,

I smile and say,

“I’ll right boy you win, let’s keep walking”

And my puppy and I continue on our adventure.

A change of lights and memories (Poem #58)

The lights change,

fading from blues to reds,

and dance across the ceiling,

with each change of color my mind drifts in and out of a dream,

It drifts from memories of my dog,

a hug from my father,

to all the memories I made with you.

All these memories make me smile,

and bring a calming sense of peace,

because these memories and lights give me a break from the pains of my life,

and bring feeling of joy back to my life.

Not looking anymore…(Poem #57)

I’ve gotten asked many times recently,

If I would like to go to dinner,

or get coffee,

and each time I answer the same way,

I can not,

and will not at this time.

Because right now I am in the happiest state of my life,

even with everything being so hectic,

I am perfectly happy with the boy who has my heart,

and I have nothing more I am looking for,

because he is perfect to me,

and I love him more and more every day.

Not so scary ghost story (Poem #56)

I never understood ghost stories…

They just don’t make sense to me…

What is so scary about a wandering soul?

I mean isn’t that what all of us are?

We are all souls stuck here on this planet looking for our meaning and purpose?

So why should we fear a soul we just can’t see?

The things I still don’t know…(Poem #55)

Over the course of my short life I have learned quiet a bit,

and when reflecting on it the power of knowledge overwhelms me,

because to be honest with you I know I will never know enough to deal with everything I do,

I will always fall short,

and I will always make mistakes,

some big,

some small,

but mistakes none the less.

And at first this frightened me,

because it meant getting more bumps and bruises,

and falling down for the 112th time this year,

and getting back up for the 113th…

But it isn’t so scary anymore,

because I have found that the most beautiful part of life is not knowing…

It’s not knowing your best friend and you will not be friends in fours years,

it’s not knowing that the ex-boyfriend you thought you were in love with really was a piece of shit until it ended,

it’s not knowing that you are going to fall apart in a weak because you have no clue who you are,

it’s not knowing that you might not have kids in five years….or ever,

it’s not knowing the small details,

or the big moments in our life,

Because if we knew them,

what would be the point of living?

It would be like starting a book, 

and knowing how it ends before you even flip the first page….

So am I comfortable with not knowing what tomorrow brings?

HELL NO!

But am I ready?

YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM!

Though I have said it a million times…(poem #54)

You may take how I act to be too much sometimes,

and it may seem like an extreme,

but I do it out of love and affection for you.

You see I may say “I love you” a million times,

because I did not hear it enough as a child,

and I do not know when my last moment will be,

my world could disappear in a second,

so I want to say it as often as I possibly can,

because who knows when the last time I will utter those beautiful words for the last time…

I just don’t want you to go through life thinking you are anything less than the best,

because you have been everything I have needed and more,

and even though we fight,

my words still ring the same,

I love you to the end of the galaxy,

I love you a little more everyday….

Time to move on (poem #53)

I’m sorry,

I know this is hard for you,

to see me move on,

and keep going with my life,

when life seems to stand still for you,

and you keep running but don’t go anywhere.

I’m sorry,

I know how you feel,

the depression that sets in,

the pain and hurt is overwhelming,

and it leads to the feeling of being lost,

because the floor you stood on completely fell apart.

I’m sorry,

that I have to remind you of your place,

and that place is not right beside me,

but behind me,

because you are my friend…

and that is all you ever can or will be….

I used to know (poem #52)

I used to think I know what love was,

and I knew exactly what I needed to do to make someone happy,

I had all the perfect words,

knew the perfect way to say everything,

how specifically to act to make someone smile,

or even just show them I care…

However, with you…

with you it is different,

the words don’t come out right,

they don’t work,

it doesn’t work…

Because with you I have no idea what I am doing!