Dear Mom and Dad (poem #20)

My daddy looks at me and sees me cry,

Yet the tears are broken,

and falling with each passing minute,

every hour,

every second of every day,

from my heart that is breaking,

because I don’t have the words to say…

Because “I love you” doesn’t heal wounds,

we aren’t willing to have healed,

and scars still remind us of what it really means to feel.

So I’m sorry daddy,

I’m sorry I am crying,

but for years you didn’t see it,

your daughter was dying,

she was losing all hope,

in this thing called love,

because all that she ever saw it represented as was spit out at hear,

she was told she was worthless,

and that she was a whore,

she was told by her mother that she didn’t want her anymore.

So daddy and mommy,

I’m sorry,

I really am,

that it took me so long to figure out who I am,

and that these words have to be written on a page,

because otherwise I would be screaming them in your face,

and that somehow now you see that this was ment to be the place.

That the screaming matches meant something,

and I had to leave for you to see,

that your daughter she means something,

and she is stronger than she seems,

that her tears came from heartache,

that she was willing to endure,

because heartache meant maybe love was something,

and that her insanity could be cured.

Now mommy and daddy I forgive you,

I really do,

because holding on to grudges is something I won’t do,

they aren’t worth my time,

they aren’t worth my tears,

and moving forward is what I need,

that will end my fear. 

Now forgive yourself please,

there is no point to living in the past,

the words were already spoken,

there is nothing more we can do,

except move on,

because the music is still playing,

and this is my song.

Mommy and daddy,

I want you to see,

the things that all these years I have been searching for,

is real,

it’s a thing,

love does exist,

but it comes from trial and pain,

so don’t give up on it yet,

fight the storm,

fight the waves,

because giving up is easy,

and running you can only go so far,

but love is timeless,

space-less,

and overcome all.

So maybe you will see it,

like I did too,

because I love you mommy and daddy,

and I am sorry for what I did to you…

Advertisements

The beauty in you…(poem #19)

You will never be able to see,

what I see in you,

or how important you are to me,

or how much I cherish your presence,

or how much I admire you…

Oh how I wish you could,

because if you could,

you would smile everyday,

and never feel worthless,

or unappreciated,

or unloved,

or forgotten,

or lonely…

Because you would see everything beautiful about you.

how your smile lights up a room,

how your heart shows on your sleeve,

and how you can give everyone something to look forward to,

or how you show people that no matter what life hands you

you can always move forward,

and that each story is beautiful,

but most of all,

you show the world that it is a beautiful thing to be you!

Strength is…(poem #18)

Strength isn’t about never showing your fears,

or never crying,

or holding on too long.

Strength is about

letting go when it is the right time,

about showing when you are scared,

but powering through it anyways,

about holding on to til the right time,

about showing others you have fears,

but they will not control you.

Strength is being yourself,

no matter what,

no matter how hard it is…

Strength is YOU!

Growing from 1 to 20(poem #17)

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

I can not wait to have some more,

Five,

Six,

Seven,

Eight,

You will never know how you are really great,

Nine,

Ten,

Eleven,

Twelve,

I’d give up the world for you if you couldn’t tell,

Thirteen,

Fourteen,

Fifteen,

Sixteen,

Maybe someday you will fall in true love with me,

Seventeen,

Eighteen,

Nineteen,

Twenty,

Thank you so much for showing me what love means.

The wave (Poem #16)

There is a lot going on,

and that is an understatement…

but the reason it is all crashing down on you at once,

is so that it can erode all the things you don’t need away…

because otherwise you wouldn’t get ride of them,

so life is getting rid of them for you…

so thank the pressure,

thank the stress,

thank the difficulty,

Because tomorrow you will be better because of it.

Something about a that chair (Poem #15)

Sitting in a room,

talking to someone you barely know…

It’s hard…

That’s putting it nicely.

You see the room becomes all that more intersting,

because you are avoiding all the thoughts that crawl on those walls,

and you wonder how many sad stories that wind could whisper if the windows were open,

and how many tear the chairs have caught,

or how many times someone has fallen apart and left everything that was broken lying on that floor….

So to say the least the room is ominous…

but something about them breaks you down,

as if you didn’t say everything you have been holding back,

that somehow you would be letting the room down…

and then it starts,

You just open up!