Wish me luck (poem #29)

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I had to sit down today,

and look long and hard,

at this person I show the world,

and all the pain behind it.

You see I know I have built up walls,

and I have hidden behind them for so long,

that it is scary when I look through them,

it is almost like I am looking back into the eyes of the 13 year old me,

and that little girls was scared,

hurt,

and alone.

I don’t want to be here again,

and I never want to see it again,

I don’t want to see the world through frightened eyes,

I want to be strong,

and stand tall..

Like I am now.

You see the walls helped me stay strong,

and then I made myself strong,

Now as the walls come crashing down, 

I don’t know what hides behind them,

could it be monsters?

or could it be angels?

I don’t know…

but I guess it is time to find out…

Wish me luck!

The little things…(poem #28)

Why do we put so much significance into specific actions,

Seriously, why does a hug mean more than a simply “I hope your day is going ok”,

Or why a longing glance is insignificant compared to a hug,

It baffles me,

because it shouldn’t matter as long as it is done out of love,

and caring,

and compassion,

So that cup of tea that they poured for you,

is just to show that they care,

So don’t miss out on the little things,

Because your eyes are only looking for a romantic sunset,

that the light of day is overlooked,

and you lose out on all the joys that you could have had that day.

Stop turning (Poem #27)

I would just like to take a moment,

To breath,

And step back,

Because things get kind of overwhelming,

And everything needs to just slow down,

I need a rose to smell,

A hand to hold,

A moment to just walk down a street and smile,

So please world,

stop turning,

and let me enjoy this one last dance…

Land of the Dreamers (poem #26)

People often question why I do what I do,

It doesn’t make sense to them,

Why I feel everything I do,

and I risk so much,

But there is a good reason,

I promise,

However,

that doesn’t mean it makes sense to you,

because it is just as crazy as why I feel what I do,

It’s because I live in the world of dreamers,

that maybe someday it will be better,

and that it will all work out,

a land where good always wins,

and where love is enough,

where happiness isn’t based off of success,

but rather on the state of the heart,

I live in a world of possibilities,

In a land of never end dreams,

You see I live,

in the land of tomorrow!

11 years to this day…(poem #25)

Maybe someday you will see,

how many chances you got,

and how many you crushed in the palm of your hand,

but you will never see,

the tears you forced me to cry,

and how every time you didn’t show,

a small part of me died,

because I looked at the world with big eyes,

and open arms,

and open hands,

but every time I reached out to you,

you slapped it away,

and replaced it with a materialistic world,

filled with drugs,

filled with alcohol,

filled with girls,

filled with sex,

filled with everything that has kept you where you are now…

You see you could be so much better,

and do so much more,

I’m not the only one who can go far,

I know this…

because you were my motivation,

when my world fell apart,

because when it got hard you didn’t give up,

you kept moving forward,

and you stood tall…

at least in the eyes of a scared 8 year old girl you did…

But that 8 year old girl is gone now,

She has grown up,

Been throw shit by the world,

been spit on,

stepped on,

pushed down

and had everything that you would hate to hear thrown in your face,

yeah she’s heard it all,

felt all the pain,

and for the longest time because you left she felt she deserved to be treated that way…

you see she felt unloved,

uncared for,

and worthless…

but now thing are different,

that little girl she grew,

she now sees what

love,

respect,

and worthiness are,

so today she is standing up for herself,

and that means to you to,

so here it is….

I am done chasing after the dream that you will come home,

No longer will I wait for you behind a curtain,

and cry when you don’t show,

I am done reaching out my hands and my heart,

Because you no longer have the right to break them,

It’s on you now,

You can come to me,

and find out what the meaning of family is,

because just because I am done chasing….

that doesn’t mean I’m done waiting….

So I will wait right here for you,

for you to come home,

because today marks the 11th year that I have waited,

and that was 11 years too long,

because you can’t chase a person who is running away,

you just have to wait,

for the day they grow tired,

and they come back,

for good,

forever,

no more so-long…

The Origin of Music(poem #24)

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Every great song starts with a melody,

a few notes to make a tune,

a gracious hand strumming along,

to the beat of the heart,

and the whispers of the soul,

that feed the memories,

that were translated to the notes.

You see music is a language,

a deeply routed word,

that no matter the tongue in which it is spoken,

still somehow translates what it means,

because music is more than words,

and more than simply note,

Music is the gateway,

to our hearts,

to our memories,

to our souls.