When you hit the floor (Poem #1)

I am sitting here trying to think,

Trying to write words of happiness and not those of pain,

Yet all I see is you,

Your body quivering….

shaking….

Darling why did you do this to yourself….

Why bring yourself to this point?

Please stop it…please

I know I can’t cry now…

I have to be strong enough to get you through this….

but can’t you see you are breaking my heart….

 

STOP IT!

JUST STOP!

You are not okay….

You are not fine…

We all see through the front you are putting up…

We are here to help you…

Why must you do this…..

Why can’t you just let us help?

 

No I will not leave you alone,

You can’t see yourself

The state you are in,

So just let me get you what you need….

And no it isn’t just a night’s rest,

or a cup of water…

YOU NEED HELP!

 

I’m not here to get you in trouble

And it hurts me that as I reach my hand out to help you shriek in fear

I don’t care what you did up until now,

Just let me help you…

Your life…your safety…isn’t worth your pride…

 

They’re here…

The lights have come,

As I see them enter and head your way a sigh of relief protrudes from my lips,

but yet this sense of satisfaction hasn’t arrived,

You are still in pain…

You are still fighting back…

And this moment stains my mind

It drags across my eyes as they bring you out…

Because I know that this moment will change you…

as it has changed me…

Except I won’t be the one waking up alone in a hospital bed….alone…

I won’t be the one who won’t remember what happened

or grasping at straws….

I will remember this night

Just like your friends will

just like your family will remember the pain of finding out later that you were sent to a hospital…

but we can’t tell them where…

 

You see what haunts me most isn’t that you did this to yourself….

it is the fact that you did this to everyone else around you…

that you were willing to hurt others in the name of having a good time…

so this pain…..this is on you….

yet……you won’t see that until later….

 

Just know we care…….

We wish you well….

 

So get well soon…

rest your eyes….

and learn from this….

please learn from this….

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